happy hour to happily ever after

At the start of a new week it’s time to get organized, motivated and most importantly start making plans for the upcoming weekend! Heaven forbid a gal finds herself on a Friday night with nothing to do but her paint her nails and empty the DVR. Don’t get me wrong, we all need a weekend off to rest and reset, but come Friday at lunchtime my hopes for meeting my next love are about as high at the heels I’m rocking to happy hour.

 By mid-week, I without a doubt, will email a girlfriend something along the lines of “the city is ours for the taking”, “let’s make ourselves talk to at least two guys”, “I’m only buying myself two drinks, any third or fourth beverage a man to purchase for me”. But when I find myself actually out and about, my motivation dwindles like a bar post happy hour. The cause? The usual excuses I tell myself 1.) There’s no one I’m interested in and 2.) I’m more focused on catching up with friends. But in all honesty, I’m lazy and a bit scared.

 Perhaps my job the last 5 years plugging away at a computer, iMessaging, Facebooking and now blogging!! has caused irrefutable damage to my social skills? Which coincidently is the chronic eye twitch of those in their mid-to-late twenties. Again, maybe it’s the “rules” getting the best of me. While I impatiently wait for Mr. Right to spot me across the bar, smile and send over a cocktail, there could be a fun bunch of guys at the neighboring table. Or is it the doubting little voice in the back of my head? Who likes to remind me I’m over dressed for an SF bar or not as pretty as that trollop who just sauntered in. Or finally, do I feel a bit guilty asking for what I truly want – making the first move, being aggressive, taking the cake?

 Regardless of my hang ups, let’s cheers to taking control, being open to change and maybe, if we’re lucky, a new contact in our iPhone!

today a girl has to buy her own kisses

What is it about Walgreens? You go in for one things and $60 later you’ve stocked up on Essie nail polish, Luna Bars and some obscure branded facial product. I was in my neighborhood Walgreens replenishing my Q-tip supply, when I thought to myself “Hey, I’ll get some candy for the office” or what I tell myself when I’ll most likely hide the aforementioned candy in my drawer, only to share with my coworkers when I’m feeling generous and Julie Andrews like. As I rounded the corner – Boom! Cute guy alert! And yes, an alert complete with sirens, disco lights and confetti is warranted for a cute guy.

As I’ve learned living in the city for the last year in the half … San Francisco is utterly, completely and totally lacking on the handsome man front. Please note this statement excludes all gays, those in committed relationships and European tourists that populate the 7×7 mile area of the city.

Tall, dark and good looking passed by me and rounded the corner to check out the chilled beverages. After having a moment to compose myself, I got back to the task at hand… 2/$6 Hershey Kisses – hello! As I contemplated classic milk or dark chocolate kisses, low and behold Mr. Good Looking wandered down the candy aisle once again. Our eyes met and I made my best attempt at a casual and welcoming smile. I’m ashamed to admit that I have legit practiced this look in the mirror. I’m pretty sure I look like a puppy dog who’s run into a wall one too many times. Regardless of my failed attempts to look approachable, he walked down the aisle TWICE! Basic girl logic leads me to believe that maybe he was interested, so I grabbed my bag of Hershey’s Dark Kisses and followed him to the check out line.

I patiently waited for him to turn around… okay seriously, why isn’t he turning around yet?? How can I get his attention? Should I drop something near his feet? Should I grab a pack of gum next to his shoulder? I anxiously fumbled with the bag of Kisses, making all kinds of annoying plasticy sounds that warrant a a glance… then I realized he was wearing ear buds. Eff! Mr. Good Looking never turned around. Not after paying for his purchases, not while walking out the door, not once.

On my walk home I wanted to kick myself. Why did I get so caught up thinking of the best approach to initiate conversation? Why hadn’t I just tapped him on the shoulder and said “Hello!”? I hear urban myths of people meeting in line at Starbucks, heck one of my girlfriends met her boyfriend in line picking up her laundry! I think the hardest thing about dating for me is that I still abide by the “rules” of dating. I suppose I’m partly to blame for not making the first move, but is it wrong that I still want the guy to? At least with rules you have a faded and outdated road map to help navigate the awkward and self-doubt filled first dates. Instead, as I type this some guy I’ve met through an online dating site wants to FaceTime me before ever meeting or speaking . No thank you, sir.

I wanted a perfect ending

“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity.”